(Spoilers ahead for the horror movie Annihilation!)

What the hell did I just watch?

I have a knack for going down horror rabbitholes at 12 in the morning, which is obviously not the best way to spend hours intended for a good night's sleep. Usually though, I'm just watching Pixels After Dark and being bestowed with passing thoughts of "man, that's kinda fucked up", but I still manage to get undisturbed sleep.

But tonight? Bloody hell. I have traumatized myself for years to come.

I heard about the movie Annihilation after hearing stories about the supposed "scariest horror movie monster" ever conceived by mankind--- a mutated bear. Me being a hopeless adrenaline junkie, I decided to sacrifice another few hours of sleep for this flick just so that I can check out whether it actually does cause several months' worth of intrusive thoughts, but I have regretted it, for I am indeed going to experience the aforementioned intrusive thoughts, and a cocky, joke throwaway statement I made has become an overbearing reality that I must face.

For context for my general exposure to horror, I rarely watch proper horror movies since I rarely have the time, and I mostly just flock to quick 20-minute Internet horror, obscure lost media rabbit holes, and unsettling urban legends. Of course there are classics like The Ring and Saw, and let's not forget Skinamarink, but I am going to be completely transparent and honest when I say that I was definitely not prepared for one particular scene, no matter how much preparation and training went into equipping myself for this.

Having seen screen clips of the scene in preparation, I assumed that it was going to be another high-adrenaline chase shot with at least one main cast member getting mauled to death as everyone else escapes by pulling away in an off-road vehicle or a rusty, worn-down car. Pretty stereotypical horror movie monster chase scene.

The setup was very different from what I had expected.

First of all, the main characters were restrained. Long story short, one of the crew members, Anya, went crazy and had tied three of them in chairs. Just as she's about to remove their collective digestive systems, they hear a scream from outside that sounds human.

Enter the bear. Drool drips from its muzzle, soaking the fur on its bottom jaw with festering saliva. Skin and flesh has slowly been peeled away from most of its face, revealing part of its skull--- and a human one melting into the side. I imagine its laboured breaths would reek of spoiled fish.

It meanders around the room, around the three restrained crew members. Each step is plodding and slow. Like an animal. This is when we find out that it was the source of the human-sounding cries for help, appearing to have fused with its last victim. The three are powerless to do anything. Bound to their chairs, if the bear decides to attack one of them, they have no means of defending themselves whatsoever.

Then out comes Anya with a rifle. Spends several rounds on the bear, but to no avail. She winds up getting her jaw unceremoniously ripped off in a gruesome scene of blood, unbearable (pun intended) shrieking, and just general graphicness. It then proceeds to sic the other crew members, and then gets shot to death by a surviving crew member. Moans of "help me, it hurts" emanate from the creature as several bullets blow its brains out.

There are a multitude of ways I could explain how this scene is absolutely vile, but most of it was the horror of seeing this sick and festering animal. The way it plods, the way the drool drips from its maw, is reminiscent of rabies, a terrifying yet completely real disease that affects animals today. The bear attacks not out of "ooo spooky innate evil nature". It's attacking because it's in pain, and it probably can't comprehend what is a threat and what's not. Along with the blood-n'-guts and overall setup of the scene, this makes for a grisly package of nightmares for a month, minimum.

I will never look at bears the same way again.